An original story based on a Bravewriter freewrite prompt. This story was featured on the Bravewriter website!
by L. Ohlsson
The torches dimmed as the vikings left the grand hall, leaving half eaten food on the table. As the doors closed, the food stood up. They organized themselves into groups such as these: The Tomato Republic, allied with the United States of Bread and the Cheese Nation. On the other side, there was Red Meat allied with White Meat and Seasoning. On the third side of the battle, the Forests of Broccoli and the mazes of corn stood together, along with the Vegetable Empire. And so the battle commenced!
The cheese battled the white meat by shooting strings of cheesy webbing, but white meat flew away, too fast to be caught. Bread combated the Vegetable Empire’s Broth, and soaked it up with extreme prejudice. The Tomato Republic Sprayed seeds like a machine gun at the Vegetable Empire, for a tomato was a fruit!
Cheese was loosing his battle, so they stuck under the table and picked out a nice laser sword the viking had left (these were future vikings), and quickly regrouped themselves with Tomato and Bread. They made pizza! The great Pizza wielded the sword with ferocious ferocity and cooked a whole batch of brussel sprouts. This epic fight continued, with eggplants snaking around in the dark attempting a strike at the Pizza from behind.
Then a blazing light tore open the roof and a tornado of strands engulfed them. Bread recognized them! They were distant relatives of his, whole wheat noodles! And at the top of the tornado there floated a mysterious being with meatball knees, heels, hip joints, elbows, wrists, knuckles, shoulders, and neck. The places in between the meatballs were all spaghetti, and the only real human part of him were the eyes. They burned red with disgrace, at the idea that food could fight each other!
The Flying Spaghetti Monster ordered the tomato sauce and the vegetables together, making the kingdom of plants. The meats were ordered to aid the others when necessary, and trade with them. The cheese was ordered to show more respect to red meat, because cheese came mostly from cows. The bread would still be able to soak broth, but only with human’s permission. Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster lowered down himself and the others to the table. He congratulated them on making pizza and using eggplant as a ninja. He said it was very clever. He himself put the laser sword away, and then began to fly upwards, leaving this world.