Crying in H Mart is the memoir of a young Korean American woman coming to terms with the loss of her mother. But it is so much more than that. It is a story of what it means to be Korean American, and therefore slightly out of sync with two different cultures. It is a story about complicated mother-daughter relationships, and of dealing with the death of a parent. And it is a story about food as a means of connection.
Michelle Zauner was born in South Korea to a Korean mother and an American father. The family moved to Eugene, Oregon when she was still an infant. Summers, Michelle and her mother would visit Seoul to connect with family. Although over the years she retains little of the Korean language, Michelle connects with her roots, and her mother, through Korean food culture.
Michelle’s mother shows her love through the Korean dishes she makes, and through the high expectations she places on her daughter. As a teen, the closer her mother tries to hold her, the farther Zauner wants to flee. After high school Michelle moves to the East Coast to attend college and figure out who she is outside her mother’s orbit.
Just as she begins to flesh out that persona her mother received a devastating cancer diagnosis. Michelle returns to Eugene to care for her mother through her illness. Roles reversed, Michelle learns to cook the Korean foods of her childhood and reconnects with both her roots and her mother.
Zauner writes with honesty, putting her pain and raw emotion on display. Yet she also shares with us the quiet peacefulness of surrender and acceptance. Crying in H Mart is beautiful and gut-wrenching and an absolute must-read.